I took a 26 minutes walk home and I drifted into thoughts.

They try to make you acquiesce in the saying of not living in the past, plant it in your head like the past never existed like it wasn’t you who lived there. Make you to not think of what could and what couldn’t have been. In actual acceptance of truth the truth that you really deserve, it’s okay to imagine the past, to think about the mistakes, to just loiter in the space your head made available only to think of what went wrong. Don’t make me forget my past, don’t make it go away like it never happened. It’s in the understanding of these events that I get a smidge of sense. Sense to accept me, embrace the wrong that I couldn’t control. Accept the life that I couldn’t have and may never have. I could also grab some sort of peace to deal with the me now. Live with it, deal with the truth that I couldn’t have changed anything even if I time traveled. Because in the end, All the dirts of past life that I am not proud of are what made me the being I am